Dish-Houston

1. Enjoy life more.

I will spend less time alerting family and neighbors to approaching eleven-year-old skateboarders and more time sniffing the butts of other dogs. Preferably Rottweilers.

2. Lose that spare Kong I've developed around the middle.

Don't think I haven't noticed the hushed voices when I walk in the room or the fact that you've loosened up the harness a notch. I know I need to shed a few pounds, but don't assume this has anything to do with you - I'm doing it for me. I simply want to be able to chase tennis balls like a pup one-seventh my age.

3. I will not bark at the mailman.

I realize that by now my family knows how menacing the guy in the blue uniform can be, what with the shoving of his unwanted papers and parcels into our precious mailbox. From now on though, I'll trust the humans of the house to respond to postal threats accordingly.

4. If I do bark at the mailman, I most certainly will not bite him (hard).

5. Quit drinking.

I'm not talking about the clear, flavorless liquid you set right next to my kibble each day. I mean the hard stuff - the water from the toilet bowl and the muddy puddles in the yard after a rain. Maybe a sip once in a while when my friends are over, but never more than I can handle.

6. Learn Italian.

 Happy New Year!

 "Love me, love my dog."

~ Proverb, early 1500s